Today is Fathers Day and for some reason, I've never given it much thought. Except today I am. More specifically I'm thinking a lot this morning about responsibility and what it means to be a dad.
I keep circling this idea: words have power.
Between my life as a magician mostly a hobby, but something I deeply love and just being a person who cares about how I make people feel, I’ve learned how much the words we choose actually matter. The old grimoires were books of spells not just because of magic, but because the words were literally "spelled" out on the page. Language was power. Still is.
And that isn’t some groundbreaking revelation we all feel it, I think. It’s why we retype texts five times trying to find the right tone. Why we hesitate before saying "I love you" or "I’m sorry" or even just "I need a minute."
So today, the words father and dad feel... sticky. Heavy with history, expectation, maybe even shame. I’m not always sure those words belong to me or if I want them to if they’re still wrapped in the old definitions. I don’t want to carry forward something that only fits a narrow idea of who gets to be a "dad."
What I care more about is what it means to be a parent. How I can keep growing while trying to show my kids that it’s okay to be imperfect but also that effort matters. I want to give them space to figure out who they are without pushing them too hard in any one direction. But also not leaving them without any direction at all.
I've heard people say we don’t influence our kids as much as we think. I've also heard people say they’re always watching, listening, absorbing everything. Both feel true. Or neither. Probably depends on the day. Probably depends on the kid. Probably depends on me that day.
I don’t believe there’s any one version of truth here. I think most of it lives somewhere in between messy, contradictory, real.
Today is “Father’s Day” and after making breakfast for the kids and staring down a leg workout I don’t feel like doing after ten days of travel and not enough sleep I’m sitting here thinking about all of this nursing this cold cup of coffee.
I keep circling this idea: words have power.
Between my life as a magician mostly a hobby, but something I deeply love and just being a person who cares about how I make people feel, I’ve learned how much the words we choose actually matter. The old grimoires were books of spells not just because of magic, but because the words were literally "spelled" out on the page. Language was power. Still is.
And that isn’t some groundbreaking revelation we all feel it, I think. It’s why we retype texts five times trying to find the right tone. Why we hesitate before saying "I love you" or "I’m sorry" or even just "I need a minute."
So today, the words father and dad feel... sticky. Heavy with history, expectation, maybe even shame. I’m not always sure those words belong to me or if I want them to if they’re still wrapped in the old definitions. I don’t want to carry forward something that only fits a narrow idea of who gets to be a "dad."
What I care more about is what it means to be a parent. How I can keep growing while trying to show my kids that it’s okay to be imperfect but also that effort matters. I want to give them space to figure out who they are without pushing them too hard in any one direction. But also not leaving them without any direction at all.
I've heard people say we don’t influence our kids as much as we think. I've also heard people say they’re always watching, listening, absorbing everything. Both feel true. Or neither. Probably depends on the day. Probably depends on the kid. Probably depends on me that day.
I don’t believe there’s any one version of truth here. I think most of it lives somewhere in between messy, contradictory, real.
Today is “Father’s Day” and after making breakfast for the kids and staring down a leg workout I don’t feel like doing after ten days of travel and not enough sleep I’m sitting here thinking about all of this nursing this cold cup of coffee.
And maybe that’s what blogs are for.
To give words and ideas a place to land.
