I’ve been reading a lot. A lot about the history of the internet, a lot about social media... a lot about boy kings who claimed the technological castle. How smart we were told they were. How important we’re told they still are. And how the technology they built ended up shaping not just how we interact online, but how we think, feel, and see ourselves.
Even now, as I build Lavish Made, the most common responses I get sound like: “Well, I’m used to how this works on Facebook” or “Why doesn’t it just act like Instagram?” And I get that. We’ve been trained. But it makes me think about how those things were built... by people. Mostly by white men, and often from a very narrow worldview.
A worldview that always judged and ranked. A world that said this is good, this is popular, this is pretty, this is worthy... and this, whatever this was, well, this isn’t.
A worldview that always judged and ranked. A world that said this is good, this is popular, this is pretty, this is worthy... and this, whatever this was, well, this isn’t.
A world that said “technology doesn’t hurt people, people hurt people,” which has always felt like a convenient dodge.
I want Lavish Made to be different.
Over the past six years, my life has changed in every way. Or maybe I’ve just finally started becoming someone I actually like. And I didn’t do that alone. Before this chapter of my life, I was alone. I was a shell. Then slowly... through connection... I found my people. My friends. The ones who gave me confidence, who offered me safety, who reminded me it was okay to be whoever I was in that moment.
I fell in love with making films and being creative with friends. I’ve had awful arguments too, especially around feeling left out, which is a pretty deep wound of mine. I’ve also been the one to leave people out. I started performing magic again, which was always my first form of expression. I’ve done it my whole life, but this time, I actually started sharing it. Not because I expected something in return, but somehow, I found gold anyway. Like the old philosophers turning waste into gold, I shared a hundred-year-old set of actions, and the world gave me back something that felt like the meaning of life.
Around that same time, I started making films. And in the oddest twist, I met a U.S. Census worker who took off his badge (he was off duty once that badge was off ), and we ended up becoming friends. He and his partner are two of the kindest people I’ve ever met. I’m forever grateful for them... for the short films we made and the ones we never quite finished.
I think I’m rambling because I needed to. Because even when I didn’t know it, I think I’ve always just wanted to feel safe. Safe to create, to be silly, to be serious. And the ironic part is, I didn’t find that safety until I started creating.
A wizard I’ve been lucky enough to talk to many times once told me that magic is “the acknowledged delivery and manipulation of symbols.” And Alan Moore has said that magic is creating. I believe that. I really do. And I hope this little place becomes full of magic.
And just to be clear, I didn’t do this alone. While I might have written the code and pushed the updates, it was never just me. None of it ever is.
Magic and creation aren’t always easy. Sometimes they make us uncomfortable. Sometimes they make us angry, or sad, or vulnerable. But that’s the beauty of art and magic...when it’s real, it changes us.
And I want this place to be real. I want it to feel like a place where you can be safe enough to make something true.
