As I sat here on my bed after I ate 2 chicken legs I thought… hmm, could blog. So, here we are. 

A few weeks ago I had an insane thought of I should try online dating again.  Yes I say again, which means I’ve tried before and clearly it didn’t end with any success story. 
The main difference this time? I’m almost a year sober (which will be it’s own post in time) 
So, this venture of dating with purpose and clarity has been… interesting. 

I’ve had around 5 true in person dates.  Nothing terrible, but nothing great either. The cool part this time is I haven’t even kissed anyone. No sparks, no need to. Maybe I’m the common terrible denominator of these dates, I don’t really care. 

As I drove home from tonight’s date, just like all the others, the thought rings through my head of ‘this ain’t it’. I’m not even sure if I could tell you what I want ‘this’ to look like, but I believe when it finds me I’ll know it.  

My whole life and existence has changed entirely in the past year, and part of me is just grateful to be out there trying my best to connect with people, even if the conversation never makes it past surface level. 

Before I got on here I deleted my dating profile, which was already “taking a break”, and I’m glad for it to be gone.  The relief I felt just confirmed that I am fine meeting someone organically, or just being happy alone. 

The peace I’ve found within myself this year is truly baffling and wonderful to me still. 

I’m not sure why I’m sharing this, as it feels like a fractured thought.. however I told myself I was gonna be more open about just letting thoughts out in this safe space.  Thank you if you read this far.  

May you all wake up to a magical Sunday