What todo next ?

What to do when you don’t know what todo? Sounds crazy and confusing. How does someone who loses all the people who loved him the most move forward? When the world orphans you it feels different like there isn’t much to be scared of anymore. I have seen death too many times and it’s toll it has on people and I can say that it does not scare me anymore knowing time is on nobody’s side, even more so I was up close and personal to my mother taking her last breath of this world nothing can prepare you for that. I take comfort knowing how brave and strong my mom was for her battle with cancer and how she never showed signs of pain and always made everyone in the room happy. The world’s a lot less brighter in my eyes. Someone so golden and full of joy and happiness be taken from this earth so soon, it doesn’t make sense to me not adding up and I can’t wrap my head around it. Every day is a constant reminder that she isn’t her anymore some days are harder than others but Nevertheless I know if my mom can take on death so can I with no fear in my heart. The only thing is what do I do next I have no clue I have no money ,no job , just a clean slate I have the willingness to do something just don’t know what so if someone is reading this reach out to me if you need help I’m going to full steam a head just blindly trying everything jobs,skills, training conferences etc. until I find something that makes me happy and that can help me make sense of this life again. Let’s help each other find life and meaning in a world of death. Help me find my next adventure.